There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
