Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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