I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
