Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
