Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
