You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
time to smoke my breakfast
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Someone came in the potted fern
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
