Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
