she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
MIDGETS
????
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
