Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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