woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
