white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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