what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
