I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She told me I should be a condom model.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
