the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize