Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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