i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
