You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
