Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
