People in love make me want to vomit
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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