Kiss
Puke
i don't like sucking hair
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
