i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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