its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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