The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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