Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
