I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
