i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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