how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
