Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
