just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize