just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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