I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my shit smells like andre
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize