I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
