Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
