So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
