we have officially lost it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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