we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
