ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
