He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize