Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
