she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize