I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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