Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
