i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
