I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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