I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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