What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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