Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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