She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize