i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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