john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
