no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
