Rock
Scissors
Fuck
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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