She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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