You don't have asthma, your pregnant
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
