I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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