there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
