Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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