i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
