so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
