sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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