I wanna bring you to show and tell
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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