One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
